Building a career is one of the hardest parts of living with illness and pain.
The Chronic Pain Couple have tried it all when it comes to finding the right balance working with pain. Not working, pushing through work as if pain wasn’t there, flexible work arrangements, extended leave, working part time, fulltime, quitting without notice, working from home and working for ourselves. The right approach to work for you is going to be an individual preference depending on your capacity, and that solution is probably going to change over months or years (maybe for you, days even). For this reason it is always good to consider all of your options, be open to change and put aside time for regular, serious reviews of your work life and how your ability to cope at work is impacting on your relationships at home.
Here are 5 ways of approaching work with chronic pain. What approach do you feel you’re taking?
1. The Pusher
Most of us can’t afford not to work. The Pusher continues working like their pain doesn’t exist. They usually give all their energy to their role and work colleagues and when they arrive home will crumble from exhaustion and pain. The pusher struggles to have a social life on weekends and week nights as those times are for recovery and they often seem inattentive and absent at home. The pusher can feel as though their disconnection from family and friends is justified as they are going above and beyond what they are capable of every day at work. This can be an area of conflict for chronic pain couples.
Pros: financial stability, good withstanding with work colleagues, career advancement, social interactions, more scheduled days at work. Cons: Fast track to burn out, more health issues, social isolation outside work, relationship issues, sudden leave for due to pain flare ups
2. The Quitter
Don’t get this wrong, a chronic pain sufferer who quits their work 99% of the time would give anything to keep working, they just can’t.
Quitters often have coexisting physical disability or find themselves very unreliable due to pain. It is never an easy decision to quit a job, especially if it is one you love. I pushed myself for months before deciding to quit a job I loved. As hard as it is, there are times when your health needs to come before a career, money and other people’s happiness.
Purpose and the opportunity to work or contribute to a team offers definite emotional and psychological benefits. It is important for chronic pain sufferers who cannot work, to find ways to continue seeking purpose outside of a career.
Pros: body can rest, no boss or team to let down, more energy for relationships, more treatment and therapy time, energy for weekend and evening activities. Cons: no income, possible loss of purpose, lack of understanding from colleagues or family and friends, no career advancement, change in life plans, possible resentment from spouse
3. The Balancer
The Balancer plans a little rest and a little work each week. This arrangement can work very well for a chronically ill person. It does however come with a few issues. A common issue is that nobody is going to tap a Balancer on the shoulder and tell them when they have worked enough or when the pain is bad enough to schedule rest. This can cause a lot of anxiety as a Balancer continually assesses if they can justify the decision to rest. Balancers must ensure they are not designing their work life solely out of guilt or fear of how others will view them. They benefit from speaking often with a trusted spouse, friend or family member to navigate work and rest decisions. Just having a partner say they agree with a decision to work or rest can provide a lot of comfort and assurance.
4. The Recoverer
Your health is priority. Your finances are in order (for now) and your diary is filled with therapy and rest. Good on you for putting your health first and how blessed are you that your circumstances allow you to take time to heal and be a true Recoverer! We know it is not all good though, the Recoverer is often recovering from significant health issues, has had surgery or is taking life a bit slower before a chronic illness is expected to worsen. They often worry about the future and unfortunately, the Recoverer has extra time to worry. It may be a good idea for a Recoverer to stay in touch with previous employers for opportunities for possible work in the future or nurture a talent during recovery time that may in the future, generate income with flexibility.
Pros: Time to heal, time for pain clinics and extensive treatments, maximise energy for partner a
nd family, time for hobbies. Cons: Often very unwell, change in life plans and direction, Finances can be tight, possible resentment from a working partner
5. The Creative
It is all about flexibility when you suffer from chronic pain. Of course, this can mean flexible hours and working location but what about changing your idea of work altogether? The Creative person with chronic pain uses their talents, technology or their resources to earn an income. Have a knack for sewing? Knowledge that people need? A spare room to rent or a car you hardly use? Maybe it’s time you became a Creative chronic pain person who makes money from home and can rest when you need.
10 creative ways to make money while at home with chronic pain:
- Become an online consultant
- Create an item to sell online
- Start a successful website
- Rent out a room
- Rent out your car
- become a virtual receptionist
- Deliver pamphlets
- Become a graphic designer
- Decorate cakes
- Care for other’s pets
Mystery shopper is not on our list. I signed up for mystery shopping when we lived in the UK and I made £8 in three days. I probably could have found more money on the sidewalk in three days if I looked.
So are you or your partner with chronic pain a Pusher, Quitter, Balancer, Recoverer or Creative? Perhaps you have taken a few of these approaches?
Working with chronic pain is not easy. We have weekly meetings to discuss how to plan our week.
Every few months grab your partner or a friend and revaluate your budget, hours of work, your relationships, family life, therapies and medication. You do not need to feel stuck in your work situation, we are already stuck enough in this crazy world of pain. Looking for more tips? Sign up now for free to The Chronic Pain Couple Community, we love meeting new people!
With love and pain,
The Chronic Pain Couple